I’ve been a bit more involved in the realm of sexuality and identity lately, and because of that, there’s something I’m interested in exploring in greater depth.
I’ve always identified much more strongly with male characters than with female characters. In hindsight, I know why that was the case for me growing up: the male characters I identified with so strongly were video game characters that could woo beautiful women, and playing as them let me have that out (which is where my attachment to Pete from BokuMono comes from). Such games were actually pivotal to my acceptance of my sexuality as I got older.
A cutscene in Save the Homeland when I replayed it in high school was what finally made me admit to myself that I, as an actual human being and not a self-insert video game character, am attracted to women.
That makes perfect sense in hindsight, growing up in a conservative household and depressing my sexuality for so long. But that’s been nearly ten years. Today I’m a grown woman, openly bi with a strong preference towards other women and feminine-presenting individuals… but I still identify most strongly with male characters. When I write fanfiction, the vast majority of it is M/M, but when writing in general or doing anything creative I have a much easier time of getting into masculine characters’ heads, whether gay, straight, bi, or whatever.
I think the only female character I can write decently is Tigress from Kung Fu Panda (and I attribute that to an innate desire to steer away from the “She’s a foul-mouthed impulsive super-aggressive tomboy” treatment she often gets in fan content more than anything, though I’m not sure if that’s relevant or if I’m just on a tangent at this point).
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