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cafenurse
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  • suddenly it jumped up to be 90 degrees f everyday this week, and while i like warmer weather, im sad we basically skipped the few weeks of spring its 70-80?!?! why did we go straight from cold to hot :(
    as i often lament about here i have not been having the swaggiest time mentally lately, and i thought i had done a pretty good job concealing it in my real life until recently ive started to get a startling number of people reaching out to me suddenly saying things like "im really worried about you we should talk" or "are you okay im worried". so turns out? i did not do a very good job concealing it
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    I think i mostly just feel embarassed ajdkkdf....but i dont like people seeing me so weak so i guess thats why..
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    You’re not weak for being in a bad place mentally. You’re human, and you need and would greatly benefit from support. And you can be honest about your mental health without telling everyone all of the details! One of my managers asked yesterday if things were alright and I just told her I’d been struggling lately, and she offered encouragement and support.
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    Thanks yall. I have been opening up to people irl about how im not super great. It is nice when they say they care...its nice to know someone cares
    i havent been working on covers like i said i would (oops) but i have been putting a lot of work into originals :) i have 3 originals in the works, 2 close to completion. they sound pretty yucky but it is what it is. everyone starts somewhere!
    Went to the grand canyon today~
    me planning my 21st birthday over a year in advance
    all my favorite musicians are people i dont like as people, but god damn their music is so good and then its embarrassing for me to tell people i like their music because of how controversial they are
    mahalisyarifuddin
    mahalisyarifuddin
    Iirc the Twitter side of the community also canceled rerulili? But yeah, love em or hate em their musics slaps.
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    so often i dont keep up with musicians outside of their work that a lot of times i dont even know if theyre scandalous. i only know grimes is because i discovered her THROUGH scandals, and i know about tatus controversies because i am like.... obsessed with tatu. other than that, its rare i really pay attention to an artist's personal life...and then i never know who has been cancelled and who hasnt. which is a little tricky because then you say you like someone and everyones like "yikes" ajdjkfkf.
    MillyAqualine
    MillyAqualine
    I feel you (Ive one case while practically eveyone else is less wild)
    everytime theres a discussion on voice synth characters heights ill never forget when someone on the vocaloid wiki said macne nana was completely unrealistically short for the sake of being a cute moe anime girl for being 5'1" at 14, and i was 5'1" at 18
    Oh, i hate to be so negative all the time. But everything in my life keeps getting worse. Its hard to be an optimist.
    • Sad
    Reactions: TheStarPalace
    Cerāgi <º•
    Cerāgi <º•
    I’m sorry to hear that 😞. I don’t know what happened, but I think it’s important to remember ourselves that things can and will get better, and so we have to keep our hope up and get the most joy out of the little thing that can make us feel successful to try overcoming those dark moments. Again, I don’t know what happened, so should this be inappropriate please excuse me 😣, just don’t give up though, you can make it out of it!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    thank you both for the kind words <3 it means a lot to me.
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    Things do improve. They wax and wane, but every valley is matched with a mountain. And until you conquer this mountain, remember that it’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not the end. One day you’ll be okay again. I promise.
    thanks to a super kind friend i have fl studio again and am working on original music! :) ive been dabbling with making my own music forever but never want to release anything cause im like "oh this sucks", but of course when you're a beginner doing everything by yourself with limited resources and knowledge it's gonna suck lol. so im gonna finish a song and finally put it out, even if it is objectively horrendous
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    ive been dabbling with finally making an original song to put out all year but because i was using the free trial of fl i couldnt save my files so if my computer crashed it was bye bye song ajdjdjd. but now i can SAVE so thats very exciting news
    • Like
    Reactions: Krin
    sketchesofpayne
    sketchesofpayne
    I know the struggle. In my particular case I'll be in a hypo-manic phase, get inspired and make a bunch of stuff. Then later I'll hit a depressive phase and go, "What is this crap? No one's going to want to see this." Then I just put it away somewhere and never look at it again.
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    ugh definitely feel that @sketchesofpayne . Thats my biggest issue in life, and I feel bad because during that manic productive phase i tell people all the stuff im working on and hype it up and then that depressive episode comes in and i never put anything out and everyones like ??? what happened to all this stuff you were supposedly working on??? and then i feel like a liar.
    ah! inspiration struck and i remembered a song i want to cover. yippee!
    • Love
    Reactions: peaches2217
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    now the question is...should i cover it with sf a2 miki or saki ai?
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    I vote Miki, personally! I love your usages of her.
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    yaaay im glad you like them!! perhaps miki it'll be then :kokone_lili:
    i had fl studio but then let go of it because i thought i wanted to change to studio one but i guess i got too comfortable in fl studio and now im back to using it and just using the free trial again why am i like this
    every now and again i wonder if its time to end the chapter of voice synths in my life. i think ill always listen to them, but i wonder if its time to sell my vbs and part from the community.
    despite my undying love for tatu ive never covered a single song by them, which is a pure shame
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