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peaches2217
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  • I am just now five pages into an eight-page essay and a mother has brought in her four screaming children. They cannot be contained. Rather, she won't contain them. One of them launched a chicken nugget at my laptop and screamed for two minutes because I didn't give it back I guess? Your loss, kid, it's my nugget now.

    On the bright side, my professor approved the NCES as a scholarly source, so that makes my work a lot easier! Now to crank out the last half of this essay!
    After a solid two nights of getting very little done (in my defense, the tree went up last night, and my sons - who, might I remind you, are fluffy, meowing bastards - spent the whole time trying to knock it over, so I had my hands full), I drove my butt to McDonald's after class today, got a drink cup, and made a deal with myself: I won't leave until I have at least one and one half papers done.

    I'm halfway through one already! Granted, that alone has taken me two hours, so it'll probably be a long night. Luckily, refills are free within the same visit, so I'll be well-caffeinated through it all. Wish me luck!
    It's been four days since I uploaded two chapters to one of my fics, and it's gotten (to the best of my knowledge) three views and one comment, and I'm not 100% sure the comment is intended as a sincere compliment. (It is, I'm pretty sure, but I worry, y'know?)

    "In the Garden After Training", which I wrote in early 2016, is under 1K words, and which I reposted to my Ao3 months ago, has had five kudos in that same time frame. Five kudos in four days.

    I get that it's an audience thing, and my newer stuff doesn't appeal to as wide an audience as my old stuff. But every time I get a notification, I just wanna reach through the screen and say "Hey, y'know, I've written other things besides 'In the Garden After Training'! I work super hard on them! Please at least look at them too!"

    It's petty, I know, but still. Sometimes I don't know whether to post more of my older stuff just to get more attention or delete the older stuff I already have posted out of spite.
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    Aaaaaaand ItGAT got another kudos this morning! I need to be grateful. I was a good writer four years ago, so I should be grateful.
    A recording of The SpongeBob Musical is gonna be on Nick on Saturday and I honestly haven't been this excited in a while. I freaking LOVE the SpongeBob Musical. (I've wanted to make Haku sing "I'm Not a Loser" and Oliver and Len sing "BFF" and "(I Guess I) Miss You" for a very long time.)
    Because I'm not already stressed and discouraged enough, my Advanced Comp professor sends me an email at 6:30 on a Sunday evening to tell me that I'm missing two assignments and probably won't pass unless I both turn in those assignments and simultaneously blow this last paper out of the water.

    I'm trying to go into overdrive to get it all done, but now I'm also in shutdown mode, so nothing's coming and I feel physically sick. If I get so much as a C my mother might kick me to the curb (or at least scream at me enough to make me want to do so myself). God, I'm a failure. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
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    uncreepy
    uncreepy
    We're rooting for you. I think Green gave some good advice, take a moment to calm down/come up with a plan, and do your best. I can relate to the "C = worst thing on the face of the planet" thing, my parents were like that and it was really hard to deal with (some classes are just so hard even if you're doing your best, but they don't try to understand). It doesn't even matter after you graduate, really, what score you got on some classes/projects, all that matters is graduating itself. Good luck with your homework.
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    I'll probably do that. I'm just hardcore stressing because the full rough draft is due tomorrow at the beginning of class (that's 13 hours from now) and it's eight pages minimum with at least five scholarly sources. The other two papers I'm missing are the same length but require fewer sources so they should at least be easier. I need to focus on getting the rough draft finished; once I have it, it's only a matter of hearing back from the professor regarding what needs fixed. While waiting on that, I can finish the other two. One that's missing is heavily creative, so I can knock it out in one day. The other I'll devote Tuesday and Wednesday to. For right now, I've got Pagliacci up and several cans of Dr. Pepper in the fridge; if I need a snack, I've got Goldfish crackers, and McDonald's is open 24/7.

    I'm sorry for being so pessimistic. I get discouraged very easily. Thank y'all so much!!
    Blue Of Mind
    Blue Of Mind
    My mom still praises me if I get a C in something. :tongue: (Though I think this is a holdover from school when getting a C in Maths was worth celebrating because of dyscalculia).
    Me: has a paper due tomorrow and another due on Thursday, both of which I have less than a page done

    Also me: Has been scouring YouTube comparing performances of Vesti la Giubba for the past two hours, determined to find the best one because that's just way more important and relevant than a writing major finishing writing assignments
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    (It's this one, by the way. This one is the best one so far.)
    @patuk How does this sound? (For whatever reason, it doesn't start until about 6 seconds in.)
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    Honestly, I would have expected that accent would be an issue but nope ( it was probably those rolling Rs ) ! I remember when I tried making Eleanor sing in slavic language but she's way too good at english :LOL: it's even hard to make her mimick other english accents.

    I just hope you don't feel obligated to finish it because of me! But if you're doing it cuz you have more fun with it then I'm very glad! I'd be super happy to hear the rest!
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    The rolling Rs were definitely the hardest part. (He's supposed to roll the R at the end of a word at around 17-18 seconds in, but that didn't really come through, because I've only figured out how to make him roll Rs in front of words, not at the ends of words.) His accent's really only present if you don't bother with any phoneme editing, and, of course, the phonemes here are extensively edited. I really would like to do the rest of this song, though - it's really pretty, and making Oliver sing in convincing Russian is a fun task! But it'll probably be acapella (I can make some extra harmonies for it), because there's no making the backing track match up with the vocals.
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    But that's alright! It doesn't have to match the original 100%. This is pretty convincing russian already. And honestly this song in particular works as an acapella just fine! As far as music genre goes Oliver is in his element! It's gonna be great :kaito2_move:
    Is there a way to make Engloids roll their Rs? I know a few have the [R] phoneme, but for those that don't (like Oliver), is there a way? I've tried a few tricks and nothing's worked.
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    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    I've got Prima and Tonio, but I'm using Oliver. It's for that one song you wanted to hear Oliver trying.
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    Yes thank you about that! I was just wondering how other engloids react to it, I'm gonna try it out with Amy and Chris once I get home.
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    I GOT IT! I FIGURED IT OUT!

    Adding [bh u:] and [dh u:] in two small notes before the rolled R makes him roll beautifully! It's a short roll, so I can't really sustain it, but for what I'm going for it's perfect!
    Since I plan on making Tonio sing this at some point (the original Vesti la Giubba, not this version), please have one of my favorite videos on the internet.
    I managed to find a workaround for the broken headphone jack on my loan laptop! I dug up a pair of wireless headphones I got a few years back and they still work like a charm. I don't have to buy a USB-AUX converter after all!
    We're out of cat food, so my mom's planning on picking some up after she and her friends have dinner. I'm left at home to deal with the calamity.

    It's been thirty minutes since the last food bowl was finished off. All three of our Bastard Boys just sit and stare at me while I work on my papers, and they swarm me and scream every time I get up to refill my water. When I sit back down, they sit as well, glaring into my soul as the cycle starts anew.

    May God have mercy on my soul.
    I wanna take advantage of my lackluster viewership on YouTube and upload myself singing a few covers, because I wanna start singing again and doing it through my YouTube would ensure not many people hear/judge it.

    I just... can't actually find a song I'm any good at. Cantarella sounds bad. Jogen no Tsuki sounds bad. Sweets and Bitters sounds bad. Everything I sing sounds bad, and all I can think is that even the few who do hear it are going to hate it and make fun of me. My voice is deep and I don't have a very wide range, so anything that's not monotonous makes me sound like I'm drunk with a head cold.

    I'll never understand how people are just good at things. I'd like to be good at something too. :yohioloid_lili:
    mobius017
    mobius017
    I still think it might be incorrect to think that your writing skills have disappeared. You said the Kung Fu Panda fandom isn't as active as the Vocaloid one, but I'm not clear on how that would affect the views/feedback you've gotten (in terms of how many readers you have/who can comment/etc.). I keep thinking that KFP was also a big movie franchise with multiple sequels that had mainstream-culture acceptance in a way that Vocaloid definitely doesn't.

    Aside from that, even a good writer doesn't make something great with everything they attempt. Look at Charles Dickens--his Oliver Twist was really successful, but then he had a string of several works that bombed before he wrote A Christmas Carol. His skills weren't gone; he just had several stories that didn't sell well (Which doesn't even say that they weren't good; they just didn't sell.). I think making something really good and having it be successful requires lots of things to line up--there has to be a good writer, with a topic that works well for him/her, with the right kind of inspiration (something that provides the right kind of motivation to draw out said writer's best), and a receptive audience. Writers (or artists in general) with lots of successes aren't people whose every creation is great--they're people who try very often, fail very often, but also succeed more often because they have so many attempts.

    But all of that's just my two cents, of course.
    uncreepy
    uncreepy
    What if you tried something slightly different like making a short webcomic or something? You could even collab with someone. Writing a comic script is a bit less stressful compared to writing a story (from my experience). That might bring in some new viewers and give you a bit of fresh air. (I just don't know a lot about fanfiction, so I can't really give advice on viewership and things like that.)

    Thanks for explaining about your past. I know it must have been hard to be so frank, but I'm glad to get to know you a bit more.
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    @mobius017 It's popular in the mainstream for sure, but its actual internet fandom is relatively small. On both FanFiction and Tumblr there weren't ever very many of us. It was small enough that I actually held prominence for my works (to the point that, if someone new came along asking for fanfic recs, I was usually the first one mentioned - which miiiiiight be why I hold so little stock in my skills now, being recommended by no one for anything anymore :LOL:). I know failure is a major part of the process. I've just kinda been wired to think that only a certain amount of failure is alright, and I hit the failure quota a few years back (long story short, literally anything I do wrong now is met with intense scorn, both from myself and certain family members). I have to try and rewire my mind to accept failure, but I'm scared that, if I do that, I'll get lazy and stop working hard, so I go right back to beating myself up for not being the best, because I feel like that's the only way I'll ever improve, but then I never improve. It's a vicious cycle.

    @uncreepy I'm sorry for rambling on so much. The whole "I'm-no-good-at-anything" mindset is just one that's been deeply engraved in me for about as long as I can remember, so I felt like explaining it would kinda help make me seem a little less self-pitying and a little more coherent? If that makes sense. I've tried collabing with friends before - I'll write because I can't draw - and ultimately they're rarely satisfied with my work, so I just kinda do my own thing. I've tried publishing some original works, but the record I currently hold there is 7 views on one story. I just don't have any good ideas, and I can't make convincing characters that anyone can feel anything for, so I just stick with writing characters that others are already familiar with.

    I really don't mean to write off y'all's advice, and I'm really sorry if I'm coming across that way. I super deeply appreciate it! I'm just explaining where I'm coming from. I really hope I'm not coming across as passive and I'm really sorry if I am.
    I'm beginning to think the fact that none of the voicebanks I have my eye on being on sale for Black Friday is a blessing in disguise. Nearly two months after my surgery on my right hand and arm, I still can't lift more than a few pounds, and now that I'm getting more confident in using it, it's beginning to really hurt again (I had my second post-op checkup today, the doctor said that kind of pain is normal and will last for a while). And I'm getting it all done again on the other arm in three weeks, meaning I'm looking at not being at 100% capacity until March.

    No one will hire me because of that. The only jobs that'll take college students around here require being able to at least carry several pounds at a time (or not having severe sensory processing issues like I do, yay). So it'll be a while before I have a steady source of income again.

    Luckily, none of the VBs I want are Yamaha-exclusive, so they'll be around for a while longer. Probably.
    I'm officially on a time crunch. I've got four papers due before the end of next week, and then I've got three chapters that need to go up on TBBC before the 20th, because on the 20th I'm having surgery on my other arm and will be, once again, incapacitated. God help me.
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    My mom accidentally backed into my car tonight. (The damage is easily fixable, and no one was hurt, so all is well!) She felt horrible. I kept telling her it was okay but she just wouldn't have it. So my sister decided to cheer her up.

    How did she do this?

    By having her cat, who is like almost half her size (in other words, a BIG boi), grant our mother a priestly blessing.

    Have you ever seen a 22-pound-cat being used to perform the sign of the cross? I have. It's glorious. The whole time he just looked so confused. And it did cheer her up! :sonika_ani_lili:
    Anyone know if there's an off-vocal for Nostalogic that doesn't feature the "M-E-I-K-O" chant? It's no big deal if not, I was just curious.
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    Nope, I don't think so :/
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    Yeah, I figured as much. Thank you!
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    So at some point between Popeyes and home, I got a thought. I managed to get Kaito onto my temporary laptop. The headphone jack doesn't work, but there's a little device that'll let you hook up headphones through a USB port, and from the looks of it it's pretty cheap. I don't wanna work on any of my WIPs in case something happens when trying to transfer the VSQs between computers, so if I make something, I want it to be good and fun but low-stress.

    That is to say...

    Anyone wanna hear Kaito cover the Avengers theme song?
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    why of course :kaito_ani_lili:
    uncreepy
    uncreepy
    I dunno if it helps, but I read on the Synth V forum that you can run it off of a flash drive, maybe it would be possible to use the school computer to use Synth V in this way if the laptop doesn't work out?
    Aaaaaah... I’m trying to stay optimistic, but this laptop is horrible. Average battery life: 20 minutes. It won’t let me connect to my University WiFi network. It doesn’t even try- I click CONNECT and it immediately says CANNOT CONNECT. I’m writing this from my phone, which is how I’m going to have to take notes, but it’ll just look like I’m texting so I probably can’t do that either, and my hand is still weak after my surgery so I can’t write, not long enough to take adequate notes. Oh well, I managed to install V4 and Kaito last night, so I can just do that for now, right? Nope! The headphone jack doesn’t work, and the speakers only play out of one side, and I’m in the Student Union, so I can’t play stuff out loud.

    My God, I love my stepsister, but what the hell did she do to this monstrosity? How did it get this bad?
    Blue Of Mind
    Blue Of Mind
    A lot of people don't look after PCs in terms of hardware and software maintenance. (Defragging regularly, installing updates, antivirus scans, etc.) But sometimes, PCs go horrible simply because of age.
    WyndReed
    WyndReed
    I’m sorry but it sounds like she put it through a blender. lol. Seriously though, I’ve never heard of a computer being that damaged before.
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    It might be a little of both. The computer's pretty old, at least by laptop standards, but she only uses it for school (she uses her phone and iPad for everything else). So maybe she's just accelerated its already fragile state.

    Whatever the case may be, I thought MY laptop was on the buggy side... :LOL:
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