Departing with the fandom is so frigging hard. I feel obligated to stay because I've been a fan since I was 11-12, but I've fallen almost completely out of love with it and just feels like a toxic relationship at this point. Like, I still have bouts of optimism, but I always arrive at this conclusion where I want to leave but can't. I think it's best that I phase it out slowly and then dip because It's only a matter of time before I see something/someone that triggers me and I start to self-sabotage.