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cafenurse
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  • Its been hard lately...but Im feeling more optimistic now....I think everything is gonna be okay.
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    Sorry this all seems so cryptic and dramatic but my situation irl is really personal and complex so I cant share the details...but...despite how hard it knocked me down, Im feeling really good about myself lately and Im trying not to let it stop me from being healthier and happier this year. Despite the situation, so far in 2021 Ive felt the most confident and proud of myself and my work more than ever before. i dont want this holding me back anymore from that good feeling!!
    buying my first lolita clothes yaaay
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i am so excited to wear big poofy dresses and feel like a real human woman
    im thinking i might make a lolita instagram we will seeeeee, im not really sure yet cause i dont like posting unedited pictures of my face
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    You can always make or buy some lolita masks (or just cute masks in general), or put cute stickers and emojis over the image to hide your face!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    thats true!!! some of my friends have been suggesting that. im obsessed with plague doctors so maybe ill wear a plague doctor mask with every outfit even if it doesnt match :clara_ani_lili:
    me: *makes 1 (one) second of an original song*
    me: so productive!!! time to take a well deserved break and online shop
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    ive been talking about making original music forever and i swear i work on it haha, i just hold my self to a really high standard (a higher standard than a newbie with minimal music education should hold themselves to) and so i dont release anything that doesn't meet that standard.
    this year id really like to free myself from that ridiculous standard and just put out an original song even if it's ass because we all have to start somewhere, right?
    BambooGarden101
    BambooGarden101
    This is totally me with art :LOL:
    I understand very well that "not releasing anything that doesn't meet my high standards" thing. This is why it can take me several months to finish one drawing (and most of my drawings aren't even that complex...)
    happy valentines day everyone, my friend bought me a barbie and then i bought myself a barbie so it was a pretty good day.
    i cant decide if i want to unbox my barbies or not
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i want to dress them up and check out their features but theyre also so much easier and nicer to display in the box hmmm
    i have been feeling a lot better since reaching out for help. it can be really hard to open up to people which is why i waited so long, but now that im getting help i feel like im getting put on a good path again.im so grateful for the good people in my life who are here for me.
    have been struggling with my mental health really badly for the last month. something went very wrong in my life in january and recovering has been a seemingly impossible task. im finally opening up to the people close to me and reaching out for help instead of trying to battle it on my own...so things are hopefully looking better.
    i hope to be more active and work on covers and art and stuff again, but ive been spending a lot of days just in bed not being able to do anything, so ive been set back. hopefully i will be able to find energy again and things can get better.
    scheduled my covid vaccine in the middle of japanese class and i have to work in the middle of my art class. what a mess lmao
    WyndReed
    WyndReed
    Woah, how’d you get scheduled so soon?
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i get priority at my school because i live on campus and work at a job on campus where i come in contact with students
    WyndReed
    WyndReed
    That makes a lot of sense. School campuses are probably hotspots waiting to happen.
    i havent liked metal in like 10 years but since peaches introduced me to kingslayer ive been listening to it on repeat for an hour
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    its really catchy, when i first listened to your cover i was like "hmm i dont like metal anymore but i will listen to support" and then the chorus got stuck in my head i was like "well now i have no choice to listen to it again" and i realized i actually really like the song
    i was raised on rock and metal, it was all we played in the house and car my entire youth because my mom refuses to believe any other music exists, so i really grew tired of it and hardly listen to it anymore, but every now and again i hear some rock/metal where im like "well now this is just objectively good how can i not like it" lmao
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    My cover does it no justice, of course. Listen to the original! It's just so hard-hitting and powerful, yet insanely catchy, a perfect blend of metal and pop. And my family is rather conservative on both sides, so I didn't get to experience metal until I was in college; for that reason I'm ridiculously passionate about it, heh. But thank you so much for giving this song a chance! And I'm very glad you liked it!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    I did give the original a listen and I like that version a lot too :prima_lili: im very glad you get to listen to the music you like now at least heh!! My musical coming of age in college was discovering that tatu had songs other than all the things she said/malchik gay/show me love and now all i listen to anymore is tatu, much to the dismay of everyone in my life who is sick and tired of hearing it
    had a meltdown yesterday over the bad news about my medication but im doing better today. trying to stay positive but its hards sometimes. '^-^
    • Like
    Reactions: Ronny777
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    Hey, we're all here for you! It was a huge blow, but know that you'll get there. I have faith in that!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    im hoping ill find a way to get on it eventually but if not ill just have to come to terms someday with how i look. i love everyone in my life sheepishly trying to comfort me by telling me my acne isn't "that" bad and acne "doesnt make you ugly anyway" but yesterday i was not having it :kaito_lili:
    My doctors office told me theyre not going to prescribe me accutane now because the ipledge program wants to make them fill out too much paperwork to be a certified prescriber. They tried to refer me somewhere else but theyre not finding anyone that takes our insurance and is taking new patients. My acne is also just especially bad today for the icing on the cake. I feel so defeated
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