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Need feedback/proofreading on JPN lyrics!

Kurenai_Akari

Doujin lyricist/Producer & MEIKO fanatic
Apr 8, 2018
63
Somewhere in Cali
piapro.jp
Hey. I'm trying to remake a song I wrote lyrics for several years ago, but I wanted to rewrite it in Japanese. My Japanese is still, more or less, at a beginners level, I'm in need of an experienced proofreader to help me fix up mistakes & such.

Romaji (draft)Kanji (draft)English (approx. translation by me)
Genjitsu ki ga tsuita
shinjitsu wa. . .
Watashi ga hitori ni
aki no heya AGAIN

Arifureta mono mo, takara mono
doko ni iru no?
Maigo you ni,
「Tasukete」

NO ONE HERE WITH ME
Doushi ga inai
Mou niido to modorenai
Haru ga aikawarazu ni, GOODBYE
Mou niido to modorenai

Ah, kizu ga kienai

Genjitsu ki ga tsuita
shinjitsu wa. . .
Watashi no te wa namida wo kegashita
Kako wa kako, sou da na
Ne, sekai ga meguru meguru
Demo, mirai wa mienai

I AM THE PARIAH
Unmei wa SADO
Mou niido to modorenai
「Gomen ne」 to 「Yurushite kudasai」
Mou niido to kikoenai

SAY GOODBYE
現実気が付いた
真実は。。。
私が独りに
空きの部屋アゲン

ありふれたモノも、宝モノ
何処にいるの?
迷子ように、
「タスケテ」

ノーワンヒーアうぃミ
同士がいない
もう二度と戻りない
春が相変わらずに、グーバイ
もう二度と戻りない

ああ、傷が消えない

現実気が付いた
真実は。。。
私の手は涙を汚した
過去は過去、そうだ
ね、世界が巡る巡る
でも、未来は見えない


アイえんザーパライアー
運命はサド
もう二度と戻りない
「ごめんね」と「許してください」
もう二度と届かない

セイグーバイ
When I noticed reality
the truth was. . .
(that) I was left (behind) in
an empty room AGAIN

The common things, the treasured things
Where did they go?
Like a lost child,
“Help me”

NO ONE HERE WITH ME
(My) Comrades/friends gone
There's no turning back
To the unchanging Spring, GOODBYE
There's no turning back

Ah, the pain doesn't fade away

When I noticed reality
the truth is. . .
(that) my hands were stained by tears
The past is in the past, yes, I know
Hey, the world keeps spinning
But the future is unseen (unpredictable)

I AM THE PARIAH
Fate is sadistic
There's no turning back
“I'm sorry” and “Please forgive me”
(will) Never be heard again

SAY GOODBYE
 

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