Shatter My Heart WIP -- Arsloid Original Rock Song (With Rin ENG at the moment)

[GreenFantasy64]

​

So I'm working on another song (Voice from the Forest is almost done! I just don't know if I should mix it up a bit more with some reverb to Len's voice, etc. plus need a drawing to go with it) and I'm taking so long on it! I wanted to show some progress on it since I was struggling on finishing up lyrics and adding in some more vocal notes.
I just wanted it to be a pure Arsloid song, but at the moment Rin is there (I had Avanna but switched her) since I'm using the English track as a guide and as a draft (for notes placement and lyrics), but...I'm slowly getting attach to using Rin as a Singer too for this song.

Title at the moment is "Shatter my Heart" (The instrumental was originally going to be for another song with a different title, but I am now using it for Arsloid, thanks to Erick )

There isn't much tuning since I'm still at the beginning stage, so at the end you can hear Arsloid not so clearly in the Engrish parts (Rin overshadows him too). Mixing was done quickly and I didn't render out the voices so Rin is powerful compare to Arsloid.

The song: Shatter My Heart WIP 1

Not so perfect and messing Lyrics:

love is dead
goodbye to all
I won't miss you
As you finish me
Your poison hurts
Taking its time to kill
Kiss me one more time
so I can go down with hate

Ah
Coming to a place of no return
I could only accept
My heart
take it away
I no longer need it

Still haunting me
The hate inside
Is killing me
Save me
I can't get you out

[ Not used lyrics {The flowers are dying
Still haunting me
Shatter the pictures
Try to break the chains
Yet you still won't let me go} ]

fill up the emptiness inside me
I can no longer go on
paint the black sky with my tears
I lost my way

[ Not used lyrics {Shatter my heart against the wall
The glass spreads and cuts
It hurts so much
I can't be numb to this after all

I just want to be free of this
Hate and being numb doesn't work} ]
I just want to be free of you

As I look up to the stars
can I make a wish among them?
The stars
Light up my path
In these darken times

Still haunting me
The hate inside
Is killing me
Can't get you out
[ {To be saved I must save myself first} ]

One last time
Say my words
I cut your strings
Shred my last tears
And run away
To a better place
Far away from you
So I can start healing now​

Should I keep Rin English for the Chorus part (I think it would be easier and neat to use her alongside Arsloid)?

 

[peaches2217]

I really like it! It sounds neat, and Rin cutting in adds a very floaty atmosphere to the song, I think. For being in the beginning stages, it's excellent!

 

[GreenFantasy64]

Thank you~ very much, peaches!

 

[GreenFantasy64]

I'm back with an update. I done some PIT tuning to Arsloid (along with VEL and OPE) and tried to make him sound more natural/clearer on English. I added in a new part to him of "Rip the pictures/ my heart is broken/ again/ fuk you / for all this pain you did to me/ " but I'm not a big fan of the two lines yet. Also haven't done much on the ending part of the song for him.
This time you hear Avanna instead of Rin since I didn't want to render out the voices into separate tracks yet. But once I'm satisfied on Arsloid's track Rin is the only one left for the tuning.

Arsloid tuning progress plus Avanna​

 

[peaches2217]

It sounds good so far! I know it's not the final mix, but the voices overpower the track, and Arsloid does need some work to sound really smooth. But it's definitely improved! The final result is gonna kick some serious ass, I'm sure of it!

 

[GreenFantasy64]

Ah, yeah sorry about the music. I did lowered down the volume too much.

 

[peaches2217]

Hey, no worries! You gotta lower it sometimes to hear what you're doing to the vocals. No need to apologize!

 

[cafenurse]

The instrumental is really good. I love the music box sounds at the start/end and the guitar sounds really great.
The part where Rin says "Save Me, Can't Get You Out" feels kind of disjointed from the rest of the song to be honest. It sounds like it was randomly placed in.
I like the idea of this song being a duet but I think Rin's voice requires some different mixing. She doesn't feel like she's blended into the instrument well, whereas Arsloid does.
I'm excited to see the final product because I really like what you have so far

 

[mobius017]

Ooh, that's really cool! I love the guitar coming in over the music box! The instrumental has a lot of drive and punch to it!

It might not apply once Rin takes Avanna's place, but I think that track would fit better if its vocalist just had her volume reduced a bit. She's maybe 20% louder than Arsloid right now.

You did a good job with Arsloid, too!

 

[GreenFantasy64]

Arsloid's voice is actually volume-wise quieter compare to my other Vocaloids that I own, sadly. I even have Rin's track around 3000 on the volume while Arsloid's 4400. Plus the Piapro track is on the same track of my vocal mixing track, so don't worry guys....

Once I'm finished both of them will be rendered out and put in their own tracks. I'll be sure to have Rin a bit softer than Arsloid as I can or unless I get Erick to do the mixing for me....

The part where Rin says "Save Me, Can't Get You Out" feels kind of disjointed from the rest of the song to be honest. It sounds like it was randomly placed in.

I'm trying to fix that, so thank you for letting me know.

Also thanks for liking the music box parts, cafe and mobius!!! It makes me so happy that you guys like it.

Thanks for commenting guys.

 

[cafenurse]

I love music box sounds so they always get an A+ from me!! Keep up the good work!

 

[peaches2217]

Arsloid's voice is actually volume-wise quieter compare to my other Vocaloids that I own, sadly. I even have Rin's track around 3000 on the volume while Arsloid's 4400.

Have you tried raising his brightness and maybe lowering Rin's? That's my go-to when making duets with a quieter and louder vocal set. I'm with everyone else, though, the music box mixed with the guitar is gorgeous!

 

[GreenFantasy64]

Have you tried raising his brightness and maybe lowering Rin's? That's my go-to when making duets with a quieter and louder vocal set. I'm with everyone else, though, the music box mixed with the guitar is gorgeous!

I did raised the brighness for Arsloid a bit halfway up. : D But I haven't touched Rin's yet, but I'll try that.