Hm... jojoba milk isn't milk at all, it's just emulsified jojoba oil. I sat here drafting up an argument for why jojoba milk couldn't be made the same way as almond milk, since jojoba is a nut, but apparently it's NOT a nut, it's just CALLED a nut but is actually a shrub or something? Jojoba oil is extracted from its seed, but is the seed classified as a nut, or just a very large seed, like a plum pit or something? Could you soak a bunch of jojoba seeds overnight, blend 'em, strain 'em, mix in some vanilla, and make jojoba milk that way? Would it taste good? The taste is the main reason peanut milk hasn't really become a thing, in spite of the popularity of peanuts and peanut-based products... of course, there's also the fact that peanuts aren't nuts either...
Peanuts and jojoba seeds would get along. They're both non-nuts given a false moniker. Also apparently peanut oil is a decent substitute for mineral oil in skincare - that is to say, neither are particularly good, but they'll work in a pinch and probably won't kill you. Which is convenient, because peanut oil always comes in these gigantic tubs, so if all other options are exhausted, that's always an option.
I want some roasted peanuts now. But it's been mandated that all business close by 8:30, including the Almighty Walmart, so I'll have to wait until morning. I wonder if salted, roasted jojoba seeds would taste good too...
In conclusion, jojoba is just one big lie. They're called a nut but they're not a nut, jojoba milk isn't milk at all, it's spelled "JOE-joe-bah" but is pronounced "ho-HO-bah" - what the fuck are you, jojoba?
