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cafenurse
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  • going to not be on for some time, not gonna bore yall with the details but just a lot going on and im not feeling my happiest and healthiest. see yall whenever i return :kokone_lili:
    i never stop being impressed by poem of a thousand years, i think it's genuinely one of the best vocaloid songs to have ever existed. so many different energies and emotions in one song, it blew me away when i first heard it in middle school and i still get butterflies when i hear it now.
    i on a whim bought a sewing machine the other day. i have absolutely no idea how to sew, but i guess while everyone else is picking up new hobbies this summer i will too!
    ive been really into various styles of lolita and alternative fashions but have been having a hard time finding affordable pieces i like so im contemplating taking up sewing....
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    Reactions: peaches2217
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    oooh, thanks for the advice uncreepy!
    uncreepy
    uncreepy
    Really random, messy advice. I think it's a good idea to listen to advice for beginners on where to buy, about certain styles you like (ex: gothic lolita), find out about the community/what it's about.

    Don't buy from one of Milanoo's websites (they have a lot of websites that look slightly different, but are owned by the same company, they make REALLY bad knockoff dresses and trick people by sending really cruddy dresses or not sending anything at all):
    There are Taobao resellers (you could use a forwarding service that isn't like these sites, it's cheaper to do it that way, but I am lazy and prefer this), I use LolitaWardrobe - Cheap Lolita Dresses, Coats, Shoes, Bags etc from Indie Taobao Brands the most, have also used CLOBBAONLINE . There are also some sites like this on Ebay that ship from China to you (beware for knockoffs, make sure you check reviews before buying).
    It works in 1 of 2 ways: 1) You buy it cheaper as a preorder, have to wait like 5 months and then it gets shipped to you. These resellers sell the leftovers at a higher price than the preorders. It is better to preorder if you REALLY want that dress and want to make sure you get it before it sells out. If you don't like waiting and want to buy what they have in stock, it still takes about 4 weeks to get your package. It's painful being a lolita, haha. 2) They make your order ready to go (ex: headdress, custom shoes, or underskirt), it takes about a month for them to make it.
    You can buy used clothes from Lace Market Lace Market: Lolita Fashion Sales (hard to find your size if you are big like me, though).
    There is also https://www.fanplusfriend.com/

    Ebay is a good place to get tricked by sellers selling cheapo bad cosplay level dresses to people who don't know what types of fabrics/cuts are legit. These ugly/wrong dresses are known as "ita" (as in "itai/ it hurts"). Please look up guides on how not to be ita. If the dress is suspiciously cheap (as in not around $100, it's probably ita).

    Always wear a petticoat (have to buy a GOOD one, as in around $40, because it has enough poof to hold the weight of the dress and make the correct shape). There are different shaped petticoats like A line petticoats and bell shaped petticoats. Classical Puppets is a popular, affordable petti brand you can get from BODYLINE. Note: Some "brand whores" (that's what they call themselves, ones who ONLY wear $500ish Japanese lolita brands like Baby The Stars Shine Bright and the almightly Angelic Pretty) look down on BODYLINE, but their dresses can be cute and are affordable! ロリータ (ロリィタ) ファッション通販 | 商品一覧ページ | BODYLINE

    There is a popular Amino group for lolita (I don't have the URL right now).
    This is the lolita reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Lolita/

    There is a style or two for everyone. Usually, people think they are one style, but realize they are a different one. Ex: Classic, goth, kuro, shiro, sweet, country, ouji, wa lolita, etc. (There are many lists online of these types.)

    Try to pick things that can be mixed/matched for your budding wardrobe (ex: black shoes, not pink ones) in case you change styles after trying on stuff and realizing you are comfortable in certain colors or styles compared to how you imagined it.

    Don't get tricked by cheap lolita skirts that are very short. Lolita is about modesty, skirts are supposed to be under/slightly over your knees. Side note, but I found out I hate wearing petticoats and prefer underskirts, they are frilly and cute and look like they are part of the dress (especially if your skirt is a little shorter than it, but a similar color) https://www.lolitawardrobe.com/search/?Keyword=underskirt rather than pettis which are made out of tulle. Pettis are NOT supposed to stick out of your dress a whole lot or be too short so you can see where the petti ends by the way the fabric hangs funky suddenly.

    Amazon does sell some nice printed tights and blouses that could pass as lolita ones (just need a nice, dressy blouse that is modest, reminiscent of steampunk, vampires, or a girl on a prairie).

    It's kind of a "must" to wear lolita wrist cuffs/lace cuffs, there are so many cute ones on Etsy. There are also tiny hats.
    I've purchased cuffs from https://www.etsy.com/shop/Peacockalorum?ref=usf_2020 and they fit my big mitts just right

    I am a tall girl and found the only tights that actually fit me are by Yidhra. If tights are too short for you, you can actually cut them into thigh highs:

    You can wear short little socks with frills on top that are not imported (socks that look like they are for little girls).
    For shoes, mainly like Mary Jane style shoes, but you can wear mature heels, or other dressy shoes that match your coord (outfit coordination). You could even wear thick, chunky boots. The only thing that was frowned upon for a long time is sneakers.

    Lolita is a very flattering style for any gender, size, and skin tone. Many dresses have shirring (a very stretchy fabric) so you can fit into a dress that would otherwise be too small around your chest + a ribbon to lace it up. People with longer torsos can wear blouses + skirts rather than an OP (one piece, as in a full dress with sleeves) or JSK (dress with shoulder straps). Wearing wrist cuffs hides masculine details of the hands, and the poofy skirt covers up any imperfections around the waist area.

    Lolita communities like to have meetups where they eat at a pattiserie (I haven't been to one, though).

    Biggest lolita YouTuber: Lolvely Lor https://www.youtube.com/user/gitsforfits (gives advice to newbies)
    2nd biggest: ScarfingScarves (aka Tyler) https://www.youtube.com/user/ScarfingScarves (petty lolita drama channel lol)
    Other lolitas I watch (just some I remembered right now, not all of them):
    Princess Peachie https://www.youtube.com/user/PeachieAngelPrincess
    Asami Moon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbnzix6Cp-Zg7MinB1p4ZPg/
    FluffyKawaiiJo https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnBky07AUG1jgvoJXCwpJvw
    Lou Graves (mainly ouji style) https://www.youtube.com/c/Gravelvet
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to piece this together for me uncreepy, I super appreciate it!!! :lapis_lili: :lapis_lili: :lapis_lili: I'm gonna keep an eye on r/lolita and check out some of those youtubers today.
    I'll definitely keep this information in mind when I start buying (which wont be til i move into my apartment because the closets in my colleges dorms dont even hold all my normal clothes lol!) and ill be excited to share my results with yall :kokone_lili:
    thank you duolingo for teaching me how to say "excuse me i am an apple" in japanese
    me: cant wait to be productive on my day off
    me on my day off: cant wait to lay in bed eating gummy worms all day
    my friend has v5 and has been showing it to me and its actually pretty cool! could never run on my computer though
    logged into 13 notifs today, thought i was real popular and everyone wanted to talk to me, it was just my threads being moved to the gynoid section. i was a little disappointed ngl </3
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i love you peaches!! what would i do with you ToT <3
    ThatGirlMyra
    ThatGirlMyra
    Okay but I relate to this way too much. I'll get a notification only to realize it's someone posting something in a thread I watch and NOT anything to do with me lol.


    Oh man that sounded ridiculously narcissistic.
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i wouldnt call it narcissistic, its exciting to think you have a message lol! usually a lot of times messages make me anxious cause im worried itll be drama but everyone on here is so friendly im always excited to see new pms and notifications.
    im so tired of having to make important phone calls where youre on hold for 5 hours. so tired.
    6 hours and a lot of hardwork later, my room is CLEAN!!!! it needs to be vacuumed but other than that shes looking good and im SO happy!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i even dismantled and washed my entire nightstand because it was.....gross. a lot of very old food was left in the drawers....very moldy... But now it's all clean and reorganized so all the drawers have a theme and arent just "wonder where i put that :rune_lili:"
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    You’re doing so good!!
    Kazumimi
    Kazumimi
    Yeaaah!!! You go girl!!! Power to you!! :sonika_ani_lili:
    i want to buy sweet lolita/over the top fluffy feminine fashion but im not sure if id ever have the confidence to wear it
    patuk
    patuk
    atta girl!!
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    You could absolutely start an IG or a Twitter dedicated to showing off your outfits! I had a friend in high school who was into Lolita fashion; she rarely wore it outside of her house, but it made her very happy. If you wanna try it, I say go for it!

    Maybe buy some cheaper outfits or accessories first, from Hot Topic or Spencer’s or eBay. Try them on, learn that you’re a cutie who can absolutely pull such fashion off, and work your way up from there!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    awww i love the support and encouragement! ive been trying to up my fashion game lately, im not usually very adventurous with clothes but im really trying now!!!
    customer service jobs are so rough. you come home miserable everyday because i swear it's impossible to have a full 8 hour shift without dealing with at least 10 assholes
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    I'm coming up on two months in the retail industry, and I'm quickly discovering a soft heart and a thick skin are essential if I intend to survive. I got lucky, and I have managers and coworkers that are kind and understanding, and we all support each other and make fun of difficult customers to help blow off steam, but we're a fairly small store; I can't even imagine how stressful it must be in larger stores. I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. Things will get better, I know they will!
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    ive hit my 2 year anniversary of fast food, its easier depending on the day but sometimes im a big cry baby and just dont like to be yelled at lol.
    morning shifts are wild because i thought theyd be great because i get out of work in the early afternoon so i have all day to do things, but truth is im so exhausted when i get home from work i just lay in bed all day and then i have to be asleep before sunset in order to wake up in time to get ready the next day
    peaches2217
    peaches2217
    Yup. That's why I prefer afternoon and evening shifts; when I work mornings, especially consecutive mornings, I'm too exhausted to do anything outside of work.
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