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Blue Of Mind

Blue Of Mind

The world that I do not know... From Britain
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  • Blue Of Mind
    Now mulling over whether or not I should be really stupid after our next lockdown ends and get a haircut with a side shave. Leaning towards a pixie cut to go with it (which would make it the shortest haircut I've ever had), but I'm worried about losing too much hair since I already have an undercut. At the same time, however, I'm starting to feel that my type of curls just don't suit longer hairstyles, because they tend to go limp and "meh" looking once I fingerbrush them. (I'm guessing gravity doesn't play nice with my hair when it's long).
    Blue Of Mind
    The recent discussions of Mew have made me search out originals featuring her, and holy crap, she's actually really underrated? Her VB is one that can sound dramatically different depending on who uses her, so listening to different Mew songs actually becomes fun. :tongue:

    Alas, she doesn't have many originals because she's unpopular. Pain. :sad:
    Blue Of Mind
    Aside from travelling more depending on Covid restrictions, I've also come up with a few more New Year's resolutions (or to be more precise, some additional long term goals for this year that I won't inevitably stress out over):
    1. I want to go on a low buy for clothes and makeup in general this year, and if possible, no buy for jewellery and accessories. The pandemic has obviously forced me into sweatpants and hoodies for most of the year, but oddly enough, not being able to wear my nice clothes regularly has made me completely re-evaluate my wardrobe and think about what I actually like. Turns out I don't even wear much of the stuff I own, especially not the nice button-up shirts I bought for more formal moments that obviously haven't happened this year. I've also been splurging a bit more on makeup this year (no thanks to Glossier lol), and I've realised I'd rather have a more minimalist, yet higher quality makeup collection than loads of drugstore stuff that doesn't work for me. So I'm gonna use all the makeup I currently have until I need to replace them. Regarding accessories, I hardly wear any of the accessories I own most of the time, so I don't even know why I have lots of necklaces, hats, bags, scarves, etc. Maybe I should do a purge?
    2. I'm definitely gonna carry on learning German at my own pace. I don't think I will start feeling fluent by the end of this year, but I'm slowly getting better at reading German descriptions on Instagram, sooo... Yay? ^^;
    3. I've offered to help my boyfriend work with his anxiety and depression issues, since we share similar symptoms of both and we have similar triggers when it comes to those conditions. He's set up a glass artistry business this year, but the pandemic has meant he's only been able to take online commissions, and I think the stress of the Christmas shopping rush has got to him. :(
    4. I'm kind of determined to read more books than I've done over the last few years since I left high school. During the pandemic, I managed to read six books, which is shockingly way higher than it's ever been since 2012, I think? College and uni have really killed my love for recreational reading, and I've mostly been reading manga to relieve the stress of reading lots of text regularly. Obviously, not having to work much on uni projects this year has meant I've had more free time to read on my own, and since my current situation won't change for the foreseeable future, I want to try and keep up reading.
    Blue Of Mind
    It's two days before Christmas, and I don't feel the least bit Christmassy. Thanks Covid, for making everyone feel miserable this year. :P
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    andantina
    andantina
    i was feeling that way for a while, but then i binge watched christmas movies and it brought the Christmas vibes back. thank goodness for Christmas movies
    mobius017
    mobius017
    I feel this a bit. It isn't so much about Christmas, but they've been lots of things over the past year (related to the virus or other social/civic-type things) that have disappointed me, made me mad, or honestly come near to depressing me.

    It's hard for me to get over stuff like that sometimes. But there are a lot of things to be happy about, even now.

    For one thing, we weren't able to have the traditional family Thanksgiving this year, but since my family unit is basically the black sheep of the family, we got to have a much more enjoyable Thanksgiving in a format of our choice this year, where everyone who attended was happy to be there and participated with enthusiasm (Hasn't been the case in the usual tradition for awhile.). Christmas is sort of similar--we're trying some new traditions, some fun games/movies/other things to enjoy the holiday with our smaller group.

    For me personally, I've also gotten a better chance than I would've had before to make my first song attempt. Even now, I'm working on another one, in which I'm hoping to continue growing/getting better and become a better producer who is more worthy of the term.

    They've also been so many cool things that have made me proud over the past time period, even as lots of other things have disappointed me. I mean, I've gotten to see Hatsune Miku/CFM support Digital Mirage and the organizations they support (Equal Justice Initiative/Color of Change), as well as the first crowd sourced CFM concert, which will also I think be the first such event available for free worldwide. As one of the people who has felt the beneficial impact those events can have, as well as someone who's been angered and saddened and lost things that were important to them as a result of the pandemic and certain lackadaisical/self-centred mistakes that have been made around it, I'm really happy about that.

    They've also been all the smaller stories of people trying to do the right thing for everyone, rather than just the thing that was short-term best for themselves, that I've seen over the past year. As well as the leadership change that occurred in my country awhile back. I hope I never forget the welcoming words of foreign leaders. Or how people celebrated together in the streets, after months of political/civil/racial unrest, under the watchful but merely peacekeeping eyes of the police. As it should be.

    And, of course, there are all of my friends here on VVN. I feel better-connected to all of them now than I have before.

    I'll miss going out to see the Christmas lights, for sure (Though we never did that much, due to the price of gas; wish we did.). But I've also gained a lot this Christmas. And I guess that's my advice, if I have any: don't focus on what you don't have this year, focus on what you've gained, and try to make new, unique memories in this new environment. I still remember watching a YouTube video of quarantined people in Italy having a street-wide sing-along in the early days of the pandemic. I think my memories of this time, or at least the memories I want to have, will be like that--a lot different than normal, but in their own way, precious and memorable.
    Blue Of Mind
    I've already decided that my New Year's Resolution will be to go travelling more with my boyfriend, independently from my parents. Obviously, this depends on what Covid restrictions are like throughout next year, but this year has made me realise that I'm fed up of relying on my parents for travel ideas, and there are some places me and my boyfriend can only go to on our own. Plus, we both have cars, so at this point I'm just acting like a hermit lol.
    BlueJ
    It's great seeing that you're getting your PhD

    I'm trying to think of something to say that if i do it wrong will sound offensive but its only meant to be funny and maybe offensive towards me but i don't know what to do so :p
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    Blue Of Mind
    Blue Of Mind
    Thank you! Still trying to write up my second proposal for next month or February, but hopefully, I'll be accepted on the second application.
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    Blue Of Mind
    Just had a listen to 'Highlight', and it's really not doing anything for me. (Though it doesn't help that I dislike most mainstream American pop anyway).
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    Krin
    Krin
    I was really underwhelmed by Highlight too :( which is disappointing because I usually like Kira's works. Though recently I must admit Kira hasn't been doing it for me anymore... but it could just be my tastes changing too.
    Blue Of Mind
    I went on FanFiction.Net the other day for old times sake (I abandoned my account a few years ago), and looking at the front page, I've noticed the admins haven't released an update for the site since last year. I'm also certain spambots are still running wild on there too (one reason I left was because some abandoned forums I used to follow got hijacked by spambots). Got a nasty feeling FFN might shut down during this decade now. :/
    Blue Of Mind
    So, the Teams meeting I was dreading last week went well today! The lecturer asked me a bunch of questions that can be all summed up as, "How, as a historian can I help you with a Health PhD?" and he seemed impressed with my answers. Along with my Health supervisor and my specialist mentor, we've all formed a plan for me to refine my current proposal, but because I'm not planning to start my PhD until next autumn, they've told me not to rush it now, and hopefully something will be ready on my end by January or February. (Which means I might just spend the whole of December finalising my dissertation and compiling all the chapters together. It doesn't need to be handed in until January, but my Master's supervisor will definitely advise me to take advantage of the extra time and do final cleanups of the text.)
    Blue Of Mind
    Getting back on track with my PhD again... A lecturer from the history department I emailed last week only just got back to me yesterday, and his response was surprisingly positive - he said that while my proposal was a bit outside his usual interests of study, he was still happy to chat to me about my idea if he was going to be a second supervisor (so not the one watching over the entire project, just someone overseeing the history component needed). He has some knowledge regarding the history of medicine, so he's implied that he would be happy to supervise that component if I got accepted at my uni's education and health faculty.

    Problem is, he now wants to talk to me on Microsoft Teams, and I haven't used any video conferencing apps since the pandemic started because I'm socially awkward af, so now I'm scrambling to get it working and see if anyone wants to do any test meetings with me lol. (He has noted that he'd be happy to chat with me in any format to take social issues into account, but at this point, I do need some kind of meetings to take place. orz)
    Blue Of Mind
    When you like the idea of body modifications on yourself, but you routinely have to deal with earlobe piercing infections as it is, and you're scared of whatever pain you might experience with tattoos. :(
    cafenurse
    cafenurse
    i got a tattoo on my stomach and it didnt hurt that bad, i recommend getting your thigh tattooed if youre scared of pain, i heard it hurts the least!!
    Blue Of Mind
    Blue Of Mind
    @cafenurse I'm thinking of getting my first tat on one of my upper arms, but I'm gonna wait until Covid restrictions really ease in my country before I get one. Right now, tattoo shops are telling customers to go alone, which I really don't want to do for my first tat.
    BlueJ
    BlueJ
    Hmm, I don't think my mom ever got an earlobe piercing infection, and she has had her ears pierced quite a lot.
    Blue Of Mind
    Had some updates regarding PhD stuff over the weekend... the head of my uni's doctoral college emailed me back regarding the rejection email from my current faculty, and he told me not to worry about it. He CC'd a lecturer from the education and health faculty in the email, so now he's trying to contact senior staff there. I've also just emailed someone from the history department with some knowledge on the history of medicine too, but while I'm not expecting him to become my second supervisor who would fulfill the history component of my thesis, hopefully I can still get some additional advice.

    Right now, I'm trying to stay positive. I didn't expect this to turn into a longwinded nightmare though. :tongue:
    Blue Of Mind
    I feel awful for Kafu as a vocal synth product right now (as much as you can feel for a product with no human emotions lol) because she could have turned out amazing if Kaf gave permission for her real voice to be sampled properly. Instead, we're stuck with a distorted chipmunk.

    On the other hand, the drama has been glorious to watch. It's been one of my favourite pieces of non-political entertainment all year.
    Blue Of Mind
    Sooo... My uni got back to me this morning regarding my PhD application, and my current faculty (where I've done all my history degrees for the past five years) have rejected it, partially because they don't think anyone from the history department can supervise me properly with my idea, and partially because they thought my research question was too weak. They've told me to try applying to the faculty where health (including psychology) and education are based instead, since they thought it would be more relevant to them, never mind that I don't have any relevant degrees in psychology or healthcare. SIGH.

    I've been speaking to my mentors and my supervisor just now, and they've said they'll help me with the second application attempt and will speak to people they know in the other faculty. My parents have also offered to help me tweak the research proposal as well. But I've already started researching other higher education and career paths, just in case I get rejected for a second time. :/
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    Blue Of Mind
    Blue Of Mind
    On the other hand, apparently it's not entirely unheard of for someone to do Bachelor's and Master's degrees in one subject, only for them to do something completely different for their PhD. This is more common in the US and the UK though. Apparently, some people change up their subjects every time they advance through higher education. X)

    My mentors and supervisor do know people in the education and health faculty, so hopefully I can get somewhere again soon. I should also speak to the head of the Doctoral College at my uni again and explain the situation, but my stepdad told me to wait for a few days just in case I get some news. (He knows I'm stressed out about this right now, so I guess he doesn't want me to ruin my weekend by worrying about education and job prospects).
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    Blue Of Mind
    I was gonna make a happy post about how I finally submitted my PhD application yesterday, only for my uni to send an email notice about me having to re-enrol online again, even though I'm only sticking around til January this year for my dissertation. Needless to say, when I tried to register the dissertation module, I got an error message and it kicked me out of it. (I suspect it's because I already registered for the dissertation during last year's enrolment, so I'm guessing the system got confused and threw a tantrum).

    I've just sent a message to the uni's helpdesk asking them to fix it. It doesn't help that I'm supposed to do it by THIS Wednesday and they only sent me an email asking me to do it this afternoon. Thanks uni, for having incompetent IT systems once again, and stressing me out unnecessarily!
    Blue Of Mind
    I dunno why I'm stressing myself out over my uni's PhD application form... At least they're nice enough to give you an option to save and quit, so you can come back to it later. Considering there's a research statement section, having an option like that is a blessing lol.
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